


you arrived at panic station

by strings_mug_water



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gay Panic, KakaNaru - Freeform, M/M, Panic, Panic Attacks, Panic! in the forest, found this on my computer, idk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:00:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28318629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strings_mug_water/pseuds/strings_mug_water
Summary: Kakashi is having a bad panic attack until an old friend comes to help.just gonna dump this here, pls dont judge
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 4
Kudos: 59





	you arrived at panic station

**Author's Note:**

> ,.,-.,-.,-,.,.,-.,- **TRIGGER WARNING** -._::_._:.-:_:  
> this contains self hatred, take care of yourselves and remember that you are loved and perfect the way you are :*

Kakashi was going full speed. Faster, faster, faster. He had to get as far as he could in time.

  
When his vision got too blurry to safely run anymore he jumped to the ground of the forest, accepting what was about to happen.

  
Still he tried to stay somewhat conscious.

Five things you see. Black. Always.

Kakashi ripped off his headband and mask.

Too late. It was too late. Everything.

The Shinobi was gasping for air but nothing filled his cramped up lungs. He fell to his knees.

The pain. It was everywhere. His chest, his stomach, his legs, his arms… his head. His goddamn body.

Kakashi was so angry. Angry at himself, at his stupid body doing this to him and, at the same time, his mind causing all this. But hadn’t it been his own wrongdoings that had brought him here? His own decisions. Every step on his path has led Kakashi to this very moment. Yeah. He deserved this. He deserved to crouch in the dirt like a dying animal.

What else was he but a machine that was slowly falling apart? The parts worn down, and rusting from inside. He was failing. Again and again. And again.

A hurtful scream escaped his body. It was shaking violently, or maybe just in cramps from the pain. That all-consuming, ever present pain that now so often surfaced to torture him until he had nothing left to do but crouch pathetically in the dirt.

Where he belonged.

Kakashi was switching from hyperventilating to not breathing at all. Black and white spots were dancing in front of his clenched shut eyes.

Pain pain pain pain paain painpainapanianpaniianpan

“AHHGGHGRRRRGHHHHHH!”

Please… make it stop just…

“Sensei Kakashi!”

His whole body winced like these two words had been kunais right into Kakashi’s middle.

At the rim of his consciousness Kakashi felt that person get closer.

NO! GO AWAY!

“Sensei Kakashi, are you hurt?”

That voice. It gave his weak bones the rest. Kakashi could feel himself fall. Deeper. Into the black.

A sudden touch ripped Kakashi back out of the dark abyss that he had been sinking in.

“Sensei, what happened. Have you been poisoned? I’m gonna get you to a hospital.”

“No!”

Kakashi managed to open his eyes. He was blinded. By two sky blue shards of heaven. His scent, his arms were around him, unfiltered. Kakashi did not care about Naruto’s shocked expression at seeing his face for the first time, for all Kakashi felt he was about to die anyways and for that to happen in this angels’ arms was more than he deserved.

“What are you saying sensei? Stay with me!”

This beautiful, beautiful boy. He had always been so passionate and free to show his emotions, now in form of tears mixing with those of Kakashi.

“It.. sfine.” Kakashi managed to get out with the little air he had left.

“No it’s not! Tell me what’s wrong with you, I can’t find any signs of injuries!”

A real smile crept its way onto Kakashi’s face, but all Naruto could see was probably a grimace of pain.

“itjust. apani… panicattack.”

The two pieces of the sky widened in shock just to frown with sorrow a second later.

“No.. don’t worry, I deserve this,” Kakashi blurted out.

“What are you talking about sensei?”

“I don’t deserve you. You deserved a better teacher… It’s all my fault.”

“I don’t understand...”

“I hope you never will… Do never become like me. Naruto…”

The name rolling over his tongue made him sick. Kakashi was not entitled to even say his name. All he had brought over this boy was loss and pain. So much pain.

Another rush of cramps shook his body. The ringing in his ears drowned out Naruto’s worried words, while Kakashi was hyperventilating, spiralling down, slipping away, out of his arms, out of his reach and hopefully out of this world.

Warmth. And salt. Wet. Soft.

“Stay with me… please.”

With every word soft and warm air hit Kakashi’s lips. He took a deep breath. The sweetness and purity of Narutos scent made him nearly dizzy. He was breathing him in.

Eventually Kakashi had to release the air from his lungs again, just to greedily suck it in again. He opened his eyes, finding blue ones right in front of him. So close.

“That’s good. Breath with me, sensei.”

Naruto took an over exaggerated deep breath and when he breathed out again, Kakashi sucked all of the delicious air in. Unfiltered and pure. Naruto. They stayed like that for a few breaths.

Had he died? Was this heaven? And if so, what was he doing here. More to prove to himself that he was awake, Kakashi raised a hand to Naruto’s face and cupped the whiskered cheek. It was so warm and soft. Smooth. The blonde was blushing under the touch and averting his gaze. Noh… His angel was hiding his eyes… Kakashi trailed his thumb along the delicate cheekbone. Now Naruto had troubles keeping their breathing pattern. His lips were slightly parted. And so puffy.

Kakashi could not help himself but touch them. He felt the shaky breath escaping between them.

“Can you do that again,” he heard himself whisper, “what you just did…”

Very slowly, very gently those delicate lips lowered themselves once again. This time the tears had dried. Kakashi was able to purely taste him. Naruto.

It was a physical need for Kakashi to get more of him. He deepened the kiss, pulling himself just so slightly closer with the hand still resting on the side of Narutos face.

He had to.

Naruto was the one to pull away first, shakily catching his breath. Kakashi caught the air from him, just now realising, how much his lungs had craved for oxygen.

The strong arms he was lying in helped Kakashi upwards but kept him in their embrace as the two men were now both kneeling on the ground. Kakashi halfway on Naruto.

They were both panting. Naruto sucked in his lower lip and Kakashi could see him lick off his taste.

That was it. He could no longer hold himself back.

Kakashi pulled Naruto in and kissed him. He kissed him like he had dreamed off since the boy had turned into a man. He kissed him like he had actually dreamed and daydreamed of so, so many times. He was lifting the lid off of his feelings and poured all of them into this kiss.

It was the biggest risk he had ever taken.

But Naruto…

The younger man was melting. He was melting into Kakashi. Into his lips, his arms and body.

When they eventually pulled back Naruto was panting for air, Kakashi feeling likewise.

“C-can you do that again? What you just did?”

As he was consuming Naruto a thought appeared to Kakashi. This didn’t feel unlike a panic attack. His body was racing, his breath a mix of non-existent and hyperventilation and his body on fire. But this fire was burning hot instead of cold. It did not feel like he was dying anymore. It felt like he was starting to live.


End file.
